Peddletones and Poppycock
Last night my Lord returned from the wars and pleasured me twice with his boots on.

keepcalmandcarrieunderwood:

How to use “and” 5 times in a row grammatically:
A man owned a store called “This And That” and hired another man to make a sign for it. When it was finished the owner inspected the work. He discovered that the spaces were wrong so he said “the space between This and And and And and That is different. Please fix it”

brassholes:

the only tuba for me

thelilnan:

stickittothemandria:

dampsandwich:

why would you even drop acid? people are gonna slip on it and hurt themselves!

only drop the acid if you can neutralize it by dropping the base

I finally understand dubstep

ACTUAL SUMMARY OF GREEK MYTHOLOGY
Zeus: im gonna put my dick in it
Everyone: dont put ur dick in it
Zeus: toO LaTE

aduhm:

urfriendlyneighborhoodatheist:

aduhm:

let’s agree to stop puns after December 31, 2013

What’s our pun-ishment if we don’t?

image

fartgallery:

fire exits are so dumb. if a building starts burning the fire isn’t going to just leave. fire doesn’t even know what exits are

phukers:

4/20 more like 1/5